


don't wanna be without you

by emiamy04



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Death, I'm Sorry, Letters, Love, M/M, One Shot, Pain, Relief, Sadness, Suicide, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:48:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emiamy04/pseuds/emiamy04
Summary: TW: death, suicide.It’s incredible how in five minutes your life can radically change. How everything you’ve ever known suddenly isn’t there anymore, how everything you’ve always taken for granted suddenly disappears.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson





	don't wanna be without you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I usually hate this kind of stories, the ones sad where someone dies, but... I wrote one. I don't even know why, but here we are. Please, if you don't like sad stories about death and suicide, stop reading NOW. (title from 'Moments' by One Direction)
> 
> Reminder: The Harry and Louis in this story are not in any way related to the real Harry and Louis, but for their names and appearance. (also, again, TW: death, suicide.)
> 
> With that said, enjoy!

I was getting dressed when I heard it. Sirens. The noise of ambulances, passing just outside my house and directed towards the beach. I will never forget the sinking feeling I felt in my stomach then, as if my inner me already knew something bad had happened. I quickly put on my shoes and rushed out the door, following the ambulances to the sea. There was already a small crowd there, gathered around the doctors who were leaned on something I wasn’t able to see. Some of the people were crying, others looked shocked and my heart was racing so fast I could hear it in my bones. The doctors stood up, their faces looking hopeless. They picked up the stretcher that was on the ground, and I noticed someone was laying on there. They were covered with a white sheet, which was dirtied by red spots. Blood. The crowd slowly parted to let the doctors pass, and when they passed by me, I caught a glimpse of the face of the person under the sheet. And I stopped breathing. My body went numb, I couldn’t feel anything anymore. My knees went weak, making me collapse on the ground. I barely noticed when tears started pouring from my eyes, soaking my face and neck.   
It’s incredible how in five minutes your life can radically change. How everything you’ve ever known suddenly isn’t there anymore, how everything you’ve always taken for granted suddenly disappears.  
The person on the stretcher was a boy with sky blue eyes open and lifeless, light brown hair wet and poorly disheveled and a blood-stained face. It wasn’t just a boy though, it was my boy. My best friend, my boyfriend, my everything, the love of my life. Louis.  
I felt arms lifting me up from the ground and dragging me away, but I didn’t care, couldn’t care. All my mind could think of was a never ending chorus of “LouisLouisLouisLouis” and the image of his dead face staring back at me, without actually seeing me. I faintly heard the doctors saying he was swimming near the rocks and a wave just came too strong, made him hit his head and bam! all the life was taken away from his little body. All the moments I spent with Louis, from our childhood to yesterday night, from the sad ones to the funny ones, to the happy ones, to the romantic ones came to my mind. When we fought for the swings, when we found out we could sing, when we finally had our first kiss. The first time we said “I love you”, the first time we made love. I remembered every little moment and that’s what made me regain consciousness. Suddenly I knew exactly what I had to do. I freed myself from the grip of the person holding me and ran back to my house. My parents were nowhere to be seen, probably will work until they’ll hear the shocking news, so I went up to my room, closed the door without locking it. I grabbed paper and pen, started writing and here I am. 

“Hi mom, hi dad, Louis is dead. He was 18, he was in love, he passed away while swimming in the unruly sea. How cruel was the world, he was still careless, he was still young.   
I love you, always will, but there’s something I needed to do.   
Hi mom, hi dad, I’m dead. I was 16, I was in love, I killed myself.   
But do not despair, I am happy now. How could I not be? I’m with Louis again.   
Keep on doing what you’re doing, keep on living the way you’re living. You are the best parents I could’ve ever wished for.  
You get why I had to do this, right? I just want you to know it’s not been a difficult decision to make at all and I’m really happier now and in the place I belong to, next to Lou.   
Don’t worry about me, I’ll always be watching you from above, always living in your words, in your minds, in your hearts. And be happy, do it for me.   
All my infinite love, always. Harry xx”

I went into the bathroom and grabbed a blade. I took a deep breath, let it out and smiled. I’m coming Louis. I placed the blade on the skin of my wrist and pressed. Here we go.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think in the comments!  
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> All my love,  
> E xx


End file.
